I sit here self absorbed in my own day to day living. How am I going to make the paycheck stretch for another two weeks? What is the guy I like thinking? What am I going to wear to work tomorrow? I don’t wanna do laundry. I don’t wanna go to work tomorrow. And then I read a blog post that a friend posted.

My friends are losing their son. The doctors have done all they can. There is nothing left to do but pray and plan. And here I sit complaining about things that their son will never do. He will never have a job. Never have laundry to do. Never worry about what others are thinking. How selfish have I been in my life? When I think of all the time I’ve spent feeling sorry for myself it makes me sick. These two pillars of strength never once complain. They go through the motions, give people the answers that are “nice” and “acceptable” all while they are dying inside.

I have no words of comfort for them. Nothing I can say will make things better. No amount of “I’m praying for you” or “if there is anything you need” comments will lessen their hurt. The one thing I can do is this.

From this day forward I will do my best to not waste a single second feeling sorry for myself again. I will live each and every day to the absolute fullest. I will thank God for the things I have and not focus on what I don’t have. I will smile at everyone I see. I will do the things in this life that are tedious or boring or just no damn fun because that little boy will never get a chance to do them.

Jenni and Matt, I doubt you will read this, but know that you brought into this world a young man who has touched my life. He has made a difference in me. You have made a difference in me.

I will be a better person, because of Garrett. Starting right now.

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