So in my attempt to put myself back out there I decided to join an online dating site.  LAME, I know but I keep hearing all of these stories about how Cindy Sue met her husband Bobby Ray online and they are oh so happy now.  So in I go.  I signed up on Plenty of Fish because it’s pretty much free.  So far I’ve had tons of black guys want to talk to me.  Now don’t get me wrong, I’m an open-minded kind of girl but I’ve got to be attracted to a guy in order to date him.  I don’t go for the blonde hair blue eye types and I’m just not attracted to the black guys.  Just not my thing.  Unfortunately for me I might have well had a sea of blue-eyed blonde headed guys wash over me like a tsunami.  For the most part they have all been pretty ok and none were too scary but there are two that really stick out. 

Bachelor #1: His name is Shawn.  Shawn likes to ride four wheelers, fish, camping and he enjoys talking on his ham radio.  He also enjoys video and voice chatting.  Shawn’s picture shows that Shawn is, well, slow.  That’s right; Maggie has attracted the mentally challenged.  I always knew that not all of the guys I’ve dated have been winners and have often joked that they were not all there but come on!  I’m sure Shawn is a really nice guy; he’s an usher at his church.  He’s just not the man for me.    This is going to look really bad but he seriously reminds me of this guy.

Sorry Bachelor #1, but I’m gonna have to throw you back. 

Bachelor #2: There has been a steady stream of black men with some of the worst pick-up lines I’ve ever heard, in my entire life.  They’ve ranged from “Sup?” all the way to “Want some chocolate in yo life?”  I’m sorry but this is not the way to grab my attention.  Back in the water you go.

Bachelor #3: This guy has been my favorite so far.  I don’t know whether to laugh or cry.  His name is Brian_Retardo_Man.  Yup, Brian RETARDO man. Brian’s tag line is this, “I’m all about the anal so get at me…”  SERIOUSLY?!?!?!  ARE YOU F-ING KIDDING ME?  But wait, it gets so much better.  Brian gets an SSI check for his learning disability.  He likes giraffes and women.  He also wants to try some gay shit. In addition to this he is a fake gangster because he’s too scared to be a real gangster.  He once gave a black man some hand loving while watching Twilight.  He’s a UFC fighter and is a “supreme badass and OG thug….fo real.”  His ideal first date is to meet up with his bi friend Gay Brandon for some weird sex at the zoo or Holiday Inn.  Someone, please shoot me. I’d rather dry up my ovaries and join the convent before I EVER talk to this guy. 

 And because all I could think of when I saw his picture was this, I’m going to share. 

Not only and I throwing this one back I’m tossing the whole damn fishing pole in with him. 

There has been one decent, normal guy that I’ve talked to and I’m not EVEN going to get into that because well, he seems like a pretty cool guy and I don’t want to go into any detail in the off-chance he finds this blog.  That just wouldn’t be good.  SO, we shall forget I even mentioned him.  🙂

Lord knows I’m not looking for my Mr. Right, right now.  I’m just trying to get myself back out there and hopefully meet a nice guy.  I just wish these dating sites were not such a petri dish for such scum bags.

Keep your fingers crossed for me world.  Here’s hoping I find a few good men.

Tee hee…this is my favorite part of the movie…the opening credits.  Actually, just one will do.   

Here fishy fishy fhisy…..

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